Grade: F
Comments: A complete lack of understanding about the college admittance process has been demonstrated. Additionally, there is also no evidence of comprehending the cost of financing a college education, subsequent loans and related fees throughout the four undergraduate years. Worse than these shortcomings are the promises that were broken throughout the application and enrollment period.
The above is the imagined grade I have been given by the Universe in the real-life college preparation phase for my oldest daughter. Not only should I have insisted she apply to more than ten schools, I should have insisted she remain completely open-minded to all of them until the financial aid awards have been given.
I did the opposite, naively believing that she would be awarded financial aid. I know, I know. Rookie mistakes.
Not only did I not foresee the above events not happening, I assured her that one way or another I would make her dream school happen. I paid the enrollment fee, housing deposit and even took out a half page ad in her senior yearbook naming that school as “just the beginning.”
It was with a very heavy heart that, after receiving the letter that we were granted zero financial aid, I had to break the news to her that this school is not affordable to us on any level. Then, in a last-ditch attempt to make her dream come true of going to Dream University, I began co-signing a huge student loan on her behalf. Private student loans, for those of you not in the know, have astronomical fees and payments. For example, I was in the process of borrowing twenty-four thousand dollars in an effort to send her to Dream U. When we came to the disclosure page, three boxes were at the top in bold print. Box 1: Loan amount, $24,000. Box 2: Finance fee, $39,400, Box 3: Total payments (on a 15 year repayment period), $63,400. Multiply that times four, as we would have to take out a similar loan each of her undergraduate years, add the $22,000 in federal student loans ($5500/year) that were already added to her account, and we have a grand total of $275,600 she will owe beginning six months after graduating. That is a dream we cannot afford. As a single income, minority family I never dreamed we would be receive no aid, especially when other schools were offering her so much. I did not sign that loan – I cancelled the application.
Thankfully she was offered a huge scholarship to another great school which, although her safety, is where she will attend, albeit with complete lack of enthusiasm.
I am relieved that she will still attend an excellent university that will cost less than a state school, but I am having a difficult time getting over my role in this huge disappointment. As much as I try to let go of mistakes I make, this one is proving hard for me. No, I never should have assured her that one way or another I would make her dream come true. Yes, I should have told her that while Dream University seems wonderful and I will do my best to make it happen, we cannot fully commit until we hear from the financial aid department. When she was awarded the huge scholarship from the other school I did insist she consider accepting (before we had learned of the zero aid from Dream U) but she had her heart set elsewhere. She happened to be sitting next to me when the loan disclosure boxes popped up and she saw the astronomical payments she would be making until age thirty-seven and realized that there was no way we could do it.
Despite my complete incompetence over this entire process, she has now accepted the scholarship and we will visit the newly chosen school over the break. I remain incredibly grateful that she had this other option and that she will graduate debt-free. I hope that she will forgive my massive rookie mistakes in this process and that she has a wonderful experience at the other school. Maybe one day I will forgive myself.
