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Sunday, July 24, 2016

Ugly American traveler strikes again

Traveling as a kid, getting anywhere was half the fun, especially plane trips. Despite the twenty hour journey my flight to Thailand involved, I was fully prepared and properly sedated to snooze through it, and I did sleep a solid ten of the first fourteen hours. When I stoppped to change planes in Beijing, I felt as though I was in an underwater dream sequence. In my bleary-eyed confusion, I got on the immigration line as if entering China for a visit. 

The kind young man asked me for some sort of visa, which I of course didn't have so that was panic #1. Then he saw my boarding pass and pointed to the departure time, which had passed five minutes ago while I waited in the wrong line- panic #2 and I was instantly alert. In broken English he said something and gestured to transfer signs pointing in the opposite direction, toward which I began to race at mach two speed, hair on fire, dodging and weaving past weary travelers, waving my boarding pass and racing by. 

I paused momentarily at a monitor and noted the flight had not left (!) but was flashing final boarding call. I needed gate 57 and was only at 30! To my relief a Chinese guy driving one of those golf cart-like vehicles stopped and told me to hop on and we zoomed past several gates.My hero! I said gratefully, "Thank you so much!" to which he replied, "Twenty dollah." I explained I only had Thai bhats. We started haggling and then I was all, "Stop! Let me off!" He said, "Ten dollah." I truly didn't have any dollars and nearly jumped off the moving vehicle until he stopped and off I fled while he muttered (presumably) Chinese curses. 

There was another security line where once again I was the ugly American pushing past, my face sweaty and frantic, until I came upon some laid-back Aussie gentleman who, after glimpsing my waving boarding pass, said in that delightful accent, "That's our flight too, love. I hardly think they'll leave us all behind." As I glanced around I noticed others from my NY flight and realized he was right. I would not be stranded in China!

In my next life I want to be a laid-back Aussie. 


Photo courtesy of RichardDeverill.com